FEAR of Failure in the Big class. BONUS: Breath Through It: How to Ride With Confidence, Not Fear

What If I Mess It Up? Riding With Fear (and Not Letting It Ride You)

by Kaite, JoyRidge Coaching

You’ve put in the work. The horse is fit, your trainer’s in your corner, the course is set—and yet all you can think is:

“What if I mess it up?”

If you’ve ever walked into the ring and felt your brain go blank, your hands go tight, or your confidence disappear in a puff of dust…

You’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

The Big Class Moment

It’s Sunday. The stakes are high. You’re watching other riders go and suddenly, you don’t feel ready—you feel exposed.

You’ve been schooling well all weekend. But now, the fear sneaks in:

• What if I chip the first jump?

• What if I miss the inside turn and blow the line?

• What if I make a fool of myself and everyone sees it?

This fear doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re human.

Why Fear of Failure Shows Up

Fear of failure doesn’t come from a single rail or a missed lead change—it comes from the meaning we attach to those mistakes.

It’s not: “I knocked a rail.”

It’s: “Now everyone will know I’m not good enough.”

This pressure builds quietly, especially when there’s money, prestige, or personal expectations involved. Fear often disguises itself as:

• Perfectionism

• Imposter syndrome

• Overriding your horse

• Or going completely blank

What It Looks Like in the Ring

Fear changes how we ride. You might:

• Freeze and stop making decisions

• Override and forget to trust your horse

• Second-guess your trainer’s plan

• Or feel like the best version of you got left in the warm-up ring

But here’s the good news: you can learn to ride with fear—instead of letting fear ride you.

3 Ways to Work With Fear in the Saddle

1. Name the Narrative

Start by asking yourself:

What story am I telling myself about this class?

– “If I mess up, I’ll never get another chance.”

– “Everyone’s watching to see if I fail.”

– “I don’t belong in this division.”

Then pause. Ask yourself:

Is it true? Or is that just fear trying to protect me?

Fear often predicts a disaster that hasn’t happened. Name it so you can shift it.

2. Reconnect With Your Why

Ask:

Would I still ride this class if no one was watching?

Would you still walk in for the experience, for the connection with your horse, even if no one cheered or posted your results?

Pressure lifts when you stop riding to prove something—and start riding from joy.

3. Get Present in Your Body

You don’t have to calm your whole system. Just come back to the moment you’re in. Try this:

• Take three slow breaths

• Feel your seat bones in the saddle

• Wiggle your fingers on the reins

• Focus only on the first three fences

The course can wait. Just ride the step you’re in.

A Deeper Reflection

Ask yourself:

What part of me is afraid of failing?

Is it:

– The teenager who never felt good enough?

– The competitor who always had to earn their place?

– The rider who loves their horse so much, they don’t want to let them down?

That part of you doesn’t need fixing. It needs compassion.

You’re not weak for being afraid.

You’re brave for saddling up anyway.

Redefining Success

Let’s change the measure.

Success isn’t just a ribbon.

It’s walking into the ring—even when your heart is pounding.

It’s riding through nerves, not pretending they’re not there.

It’s staying present in your body, one breath, one fence at a time.

Courage doesn’t mean fear is gone.

It means you’re riding anyway.

Want Support in Riding With Fear (Instead of Against It)?

If this post resonated—if you’re tired of fear stealing your joy in the saddle—I’d love to support you.

At JoyRidge Coaching, I work with riders who are done pretending and ready to ride from congruence—not just confidence.

💬 Let’s talk. Schedule a free discovery call, or find me on Instagram @joyridgecoaching.

🎧 And if you loved this message, listen to the full episode on The Confident Rider with JoyRidge.

Until then—

Ride brave. Stay grounded. And remember: you belong here.You’ve been there.

BONUS::

You’re in the warm-up ring. The footing is perfect. The jumps are bright and crisp. You’ve braided your horse just right. The sun’s starting to set behind the grandstand, and the lights are flickering on — one by one.

You hear the announcer’s voice echoing across the arena:

“Next to go, number 247…”

And suddenly, your breath catches.

Your horse is ready.

Your trainer gives you the nod.

You’ve walked this course twice.

But still… your body floods with tension.

“What if I mess this up?”

“What if I don’t belong in this class?”

“What if I ruin it for my horse?”

The walk to the in-gate feels like miles. Your stomach twists. Your brain goes quiet. All that calm you felt this morning? Gone.

You’re Not Alone in This Moment

Let me tell you something, rider:

You are not broken.

You are not weak.

You are not the only one who feels this way before a big class.

That kind of fear — the kind that creeps in just as you’re about to do the thing you most care about — is part of riding at this level. Especially when you love your horse. Especially when you’ve worked your tail off to be here.

It’s not just nerves.

It’s the weight of caring.

Why Fear Hits Hardest When the Stakes Are High

Here’s the truth: fear doesn’t just come from a rail, a chip, or a missed distance.

Fear comes from the meaning we attach to that mistake.

It’s not just:

“I missed the inside turn.”

It becomes:

“I missed the turn, and now everyone sees I don’t belong here.”

The pressure of the “big class” — the classic, the derby, the medal final — brings all those inner stories to the surface:

• I’m not good enough.

  
  

• Everyone’s watching.

  
  

• If I fail here, I’ve wasted the season.

  
  

And the tricky part? Fear wears disguises:

• Perfectionism in the schooling ring.

  
  

• Overriding in the round.

  
  

• Going blank at the buzzer.

  
  
  
  

Maybe you’ve felt it too — that moment where the horse under you is ready, but the rider inside you starts to shrink.

What It Looks Like In the Saddle

Let’s get real for a second.

Fear before a class can look like:

• 🌀 Overthinking the plan your trainer gave you

  
  

• 🏃 Rushing the warm-up or schooling more than your horse needs

  
  

• 🪫 Shutting down mentally before you even pick up the canter

  
  

• 🎭 Pretending you’re fine when you’re not — because you don’t want to seem weak

  
  

You’re not riding your horse — you’re riding your fear.

But you can change that.

Not by pretending you’re fearless…

But by learning how to ride from presence.

And that starts with one breath.

6-3-6 Breathing: Your Grounding Tool in the Chaos

Inhale for 6 seconds.

Hold for 3 seconds.

Exhale for 6 seconds.

Try it now.

Breathe in through your nose…

Feel your ribs expand, your belly soften.

Hold…

And exhale slowly through your mouth, like a quiet sigh.

This simple technique slows your heart rate, quiets the survival brain, and signals to your nervous system:

“I’m safe. I’m present. I’ve got this.”

Use it:

• Before you mount

  
  
  
  

• At the in-gate

  
  
  
  

• After a mistake

  
  
  
  

• During your cool-down

  
  
  
  

• Even during transitions in your daily life

  
  
  
  

It works because it brings you home to your body — the part of you your horse trusts most.

A JoyRidge Moment: Who’s Afraid?

Let’s go deeper — because this is what we do at JoyRidge.

Take a moment and ask yourself:

What part of me is afraid to ride this class?

Maybe it’s:

• The teenager who never felt seen

  
  

• The competitor who felt she always had to earn her place

  
  

• The girl who just loves her horse so much she’s afraid to let him down

  
  

Can you breathe with that part of you?

Can you meet her with kindness instead of critique?

That is where real confidence lives — not in the absence of fear, but in the willingness to stay present with yourself anyway.

Redefining What Success Looks Like

Let’s shift the narrative.

Success isn’t:

❌ A perfect round

❌ A blue ribbon

❌ A flawless impression

Success is:

✅ Walking into the ring when you want to run

✅ Taking a breath instead of holding it in

✅ Trusting your horse, your body, your prep — even when fear shows up

Your horse doesn’t need a perfect rider.

They need a present one.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’re tired of fear stealing your joy in the saddle — if you’re craving more than mindset tricks — I want you to know this:

You don’t need to “fix” yourself.

You just need a safe place to reconnect with the rider you are — the one who loves deeply, rides honestly, and shows up bravely.

That’s what we do at JoyRidge Coaching.

✨ Gestalt-based sessions for riders who want to ride from wholeness, not hustle.

If that sounds like you — I’d be honored to walk alongside your journey.

Feel Free to give me a call to schedule your session, or even just a discovery call. You can also message me @joyridgecoaching on Instagram or Facebook.

And if this post spoke to you — would you share it with a barn friend who’s riding through their own nerves?

Because courage grows in connection.

Until then, dear rider…

Take a breath.

Trust your seat.

And ride from your center.

Want a guided breathing practice? Listen to the “Breathe With Me” episode on The Confident Rider with JoyRidge wherever you get your podcasts.