Am I Even Doing This Right?-

– A Love Note to the Doubting Rider

by Joy Ridge Coaching

You know the feeling.

You’re in the saddle, reins in hand, and something doesn’t feel quite… right.

Your horse hesitates. You shift your weight. You second-guess. And then, like a slow leak in a tire, your confidence starts to drain.

Am I doing this wrong?

Why can’t I just relax?

What if I’m messing up my horse?

If you’ve ever whispered those questions to yourself—either in the arena or lying awake at night—you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

You’re a rider with a heart that cares. And sometimes, that caring becomes entangled with self-doubt.

Confidence isn’t the absence of fear.

It’s the willingness to stay present with yourself in the moments when fear flares up. It’s choosing to stay curious instead of cruel. And it’s remembering that you’re building a relationship—not performing a routine.

The truth is, horses don’t need us to be perfect.

They need us to be honest. Connected. Willing to try again.

So if you’re the rider quietly wondering:

“What if I’m not good enough for this?”

Let me gently offer:

“What if your honesty is exactly what makes you good for this?”

What if your willingness to question… is actually part of the path?

🐴 5 Tips for the Rider Who’s Questioning Themselves

1. Name the Voice.

When that inner critic pipes up mid-ride, pause and say (even silently), “I hear you, but I’m choosing kindness.”

Often, just naming the doubt creates enough space to shift your energy.

2. Reset with Your Body.

Take a deep breath. Drop your shoulders. Wiggle your toes in your boots.

Your horse reads your body, not your brain—so bringing your awareness back to your seat, legs, and breath can calm both of you.

3. Keep One Cue Simple.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, narrow your focus to one clear, kind cue. Maybe it’s a soft exhale, or thinking “forward” instead of “don’t pull.” One clear request builds clarity—for both horse and rider.

4. Speak It Out Loud.

If you’re comfortable, say out loud: “I’m not sure what to do right now, but I’m here.”

Even saying it to your horse changes the energy. It moves you from judgment to connection.

5. Celebrate One Thing.

End every ride by acknowledging one thing you did well. Just one.

Maybe you showed up even though you were nervous. Maybe you breathed. Maybe your horse’s eye softened. Count that. Let it matter.

You’re doing far more right than you know.

And you don’t have to ride alone—emotionally or otherwise.

With compassion,

Joy Ridge Coaching